Decisions for the Day

This morning, my husband and I were surprised with a telephone call from the US Army, Inspector General's office.  I had submitted several letters complete with documentation about the whereabouts of my son's ashes.  I will be receiving a packet to pursue exhumation and DNA testing of the ashes of my ex-husband to see if they have been mixed with my son's ashes as proclaimed.  If they are, we will be pursuing a major lawsuit against all parties involved.  I am so grateful to my adult bully who provided much of this information and is filed court record.  I will be pursuing this to the fullest extent of the law.  For many years, I have been perceived as weak but as promised, the secrets are beginning to be revealed.

My ex-husband was a bully but I know that he was controlled by his wife. His wife was in rehab four different times for alcohol addiction.  My son told me of times when he was as young as 13 years old, driving down the hill from their home to the corner grocery gas station and purchasing wine for her.  My ex-husband had been addicted to prescription pain killers for years, even when we were married.  They were mixed with alcohol.  It is rumored that when my ex-husband passed away it was his wife that gave him the drugs for the overdose.  He was due to divorce her and had already made arrangements to purchase a houseboat to live on away from her.  Within a few days, he had passed away. I was given no opportunity to be involved in the funeral arrangements of my son and in fact, at first, was not even listed in the obituary.  I fought for this right and now I am continuing on in my other rights.  I am sure this will become very embarrassing for the parties involved. I had joint custody of my son, he had resided with me when his father rejected him.  Despite the writings of my adult bully, child support had been paid off for many years.  Of course, it wasn't until recent that my adult bully admits to paying child support, even today, yet for years condemned me for doing so.   But I am sure licensed ministers are allowed latitude that others are not.

I remember on Friday evening going to my ex-husband's home to pick up my son for my visitation time.  I was told that I was not allowed to pick him up by the wife.  I said, "Fine", I will take this up with my attorney on Monday morning!  She grabbed my son, young at the time, and literally threw him down four cement steps onto the grass below yelling for me to take him.  I would have never treated anyone's child in this way.  My son spoke of going into his father's room, searching through his dresser drawers and finding empty envelopes of all of the gifts cards that I had sent him for Holidays and birthdays.  He was told that I never sent anything.  When he came to live with me, he accused me of never paying child support.  I pulled out the folders of all correspondence and receipts and showed him that his child support had been paid off years before, he broke down crying and hugged me for an hour.  He had been told he could not have the nice things that his step-brother did because I never paid support.  I also showed him several folders full of copies of the envelopes and gift cards as well as the receipts for them, as I knew one day I would have to prove myself to him. What a horrible cruel act to do to a child.  All of these documents along with custody papers, my birth certificate, my son's birth certificate, have been sent to the military to back up my story.  The story so different than that publicly proclaimed by an woman who is twisted and backwards.  

When my son passed away, a part of my heart died.  He was my blue-eyed, curly blonde-haired, who called me "mama".  He was conflicted; hurt by a father who told him lies and hurt because he was never allowed to spend the time with his mother that he wanted to. How selfish we can become as parents and in the end, it is our children that pay the price.  Even in death, he was kept from me.  No more; the blessings of strength and perseverance will prove my story.  I will pursue this until it meets with truth, dignity, and a righteous end.  Those who thought that they have gotten away with the lies will find the lies circling them, ready to pounce, and ready to inflict the hurt and pain that they have caused.  The news will soon be worldwide as I continue in my firm resolve.  

My silence has been my nemesis.  I will no longer be silent.  If my sins are to be laid bare, so are the sins of others.  After all, I have learned my "Sunday School" lessons from my licensed minister of an adult bully.

Copyright © 2017 by CandaLeeParker.com
TheRamblingsOfMyBeautifulMind.com

 

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The Power Play of the Adult Bully

Adult bullies act out for the same reason children bullies to; they are trying to make up for shortcomings of their own.  This is why you should try and not take the abuse you receive from an adult bully seriously.  In my research and documentation of our adult bully, we have determined that she has serious security issues compounded by self-proclaimed types of mental illness.  She does not think of herself as a bully; she envisions herself as a proclaimed "Joan of Arc" in a sick sort of way.   She feels empowered to pick on us because we are perceived as being weak, we have made mistakes in our lives, and perhaps just because our progression is much more than her own.  There are the more obvious vices; gossip, putting me down in front of others, starting rumors that are not true, and emotional abuse by public humiliation.   She will spend hours typing away thinking that what she has to say will make a difference among strangers on the computer screen.  Obviously, she cannot work alone; she needs the attention of those around her to further her sick cause.

Bullies go after those they feel are sick, fat, ugly, etc., because they feel they can target a person in the area where they might be the most insecure.   Perhaps they will harass a popular girl, a beautiful and talented woman, to boost their ego.  This strategy serves a social purpose in that the bully is trying to establish power so nobody else will push them around.  Bullies are looking for people that are willing to submit to their power play.  For a long time, this bothered me until her history began unraveling and her character became exposed.  When I stopped being a victim, our bully's attempts began to be funny.  She might be aggressive but she is lazy and unmotivated to do the right thing.  Using scripture to validate her cause makes her a coward.

We have come to push back in her attempts to abuse.  We have prepared for her encounters and with the assistance of legal authorities begun to call her out on her behavior.  We focus on our own lives and the movement forward away from her refraining from the reaction and push back.  We are specific in our documentation and research.  She is looking for attention and refuses to grasp the truths.  We no longer let fear prevent us from obtaining the help and protection that we deserve.  Our permanent injunction, won in a court of law, against her will assist us in the future.  Her frustration and aggression will cause mistakes. The safety of my family and myself are foremost.  

Today, an editor from a newspaper contacted me in regards to an article that we sent them.  Within this article was the experience of Dr. Phil and the circus that he caused. Piece by piece, information has been disproved and my husband has proclaimed to her how he was shut out of the proceedings.  Of course, our bully told the world that he did not want to stand by me during the taping of the show, but was far from the truth.  Within this article, I also gave reference to another bully; one who had sex with my under-aged married daughter masturbated in from of my small children and his own son, and then placed blame on me for incidences that I did not do.  I even handed her the police reports.  Yes, they were documented at the time.  His sins are being made known.  He was not my husband but a man who claimed to be God-fearing and perfect just like my woman bully.  Maybe this is why my adult bully has a promiscuous nature.  A kind of sick control over others.

My husband and I spoke to her at great length today and this article will soon be published.  The reporter has facts, not internet hearsay and innuendo that our bully truly believes in her mind are truths.  I have decided to stand strong and spill the secrets that I thought I would never reveal because I know how it feels to be embarrassed and humiliated.  I use to not want others to feel this way but the time has come when they need to come forth.  I am going to clear my name of falsehood and blame.  It is not going to be comfortable for others. 

Standing strong can be healing.  Do I care what is on the internet?  No!  There is enough written for people to read and make informed decisions about what is true and what is not.  Our bully's rants give great detail into her personality, her threats, and to proving who is really the bully despite her pleas of harassment and abuse.  After all, we have already proven that it is the bully who cries victim the loudest!  Our revelations have come through and survived a court of law and we are not the party paying damages. 

It goes without saying that any perceived physical threat, like what our woman adult bully has threatened against us, should be handled with the assistance of local law enforcement or other community resources.  Some bullies are dangerous (ours has threatened to come up behind me with her new revolver) and may need legal interventions to reduce the risk of harm.  Do not be afraid to seek such assistance even if you feel that you do not need it. 

#candaleeparker
#cyberattack
#womenadultbullies
#meanpeoplesuck

The Boasting of an Adult Bully

Today the boasting of an adult woman bully was emailed upon request of a couple of agencies who could not believe our story. An older gentleman came into work today with a "patch" and I showed him a post which he thought interesting. He asked for a copy and said he will check it out for us. Oh, yes, and there is more!

What is the difference between a child bully and an adult bully?  Everyone knows the bully during grade school. Just recently, I had a gentleman "facebook" me to apologize for treating me horribly in high school.  I guess I had not noticed and I did not remember such behavior.  We have had two wonderful conversations and will be meeting his family in April when we visit Eastern Washington.  Most conversations revolve around the victim but what if the adult bully is the victim. While we encourage and empathize with the victim, we often try and ignore the bully! Of course, we do! Adult bullies show traits of anger, aggression, hyperactivity and violence. This is according to Education.com, a privately funded research site. According to their research, as bullies age, the more likely they are to engage in antisocial behavior. Adults who are bullies are 10 times likely to lie, six times more likely to fight, and three times more likely to engage in harassing behavior. This was made clear to us by a "family member" who receives consistent "middle finger" gestures and profanity from our adult bully and her husband. What an example this must give to young children that may be in close proximity to witness such attitude.

Adult bullies are 11 times more likely to engage in conduct disorders, personality disorders, and anti-social personalities. We have given evidence to the court and witnessed such behaviors from our adult bully. I think the hardest part of the study to read was that adult bullies are victims as well and need help just like children bullies do. They are difficult to deal with so they are rejected. We have heard this time and time again in regards to our adult bully. Some experience some type of abuse at home and bullying others is a coping mechanism.  An adult bully can be hard to counsel as, in the case of our bully, they think that there is nothing wrong with them and they are completely in the right. The rants can be crazy and hard to read but the meanings are clear and we document all with dates. We know that we will be using the information soon. At this point in my life, even though it has been suggested, I cannot feel sorry for the woman that continually bullies us. She claims to be Christian, a minister, a mother, a grandmother, and yet we receive harassment that is beyond the normal.

I am standing firm in protection of my family, my properties, and me. I will no longer be intimidated and abused. Her world is sad; broken-down homes, clutter, disorganization, and not married to the man that she wanted to be married to. I am empathetic to her plight but have no tolerance for her meanness. Not once, has she come forward to find out true stories and brags of acquaintances as dishonest and mean as she is. Oh, the stories and documents I could share! She would be very surprised! Not much to brag about when good people know the truth. How grateful I am for my strength and perseverance; I am sure I will have to travel the miles with her, and I will use legal aide to assist me in my endeavors to keep her at bay.  "Twisted old woman" is the description given me; I feel sorry for her because the description fits!

Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker.com
TheRamblingsOfMyBeautifulMind.com

 

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Create the Life We Love

My first day off in 92 days!  7 days a week and all shifts.  My sweet husband took me to Olive Garden for our belated Valentine's Day dinner.  It was a day free of drama and bad feelings!  This is how it should be.  I had spent the day before sending out many letters and evidence; motions that were signed by a judge, and a wonderful note full of drama and flair; I am sure to intimidate and make me feel afraid.   It has not.  In fact, it was given to my employments and other authorities.   If it were me, I would be totally embarrassed!  Miss-spelled words and threatening gestures.  For me, it is movement forward.

It was so much fun to wake up to my happy room, breakfast in bed, and NetFlix series to finish.  We haven't done this in many months due to my work schedule.  With his help, we finished the farm and personal taxes and scanned them.  Grocery lists, Costco list (I love that they deliver to my door), Home Depot awesomeness!  Redefining success while celebrating the ordinary!  Doesn't that sound phenomenal!  We should not allow ourselves to be made to feel insignificant and not important; not by others and not by ourselves.  The problem is that we have such a limited view of what we consider an accomplished life that we devalue many qualities that are critically important. How do we go back to the idea that ordinary can be extraordinary? How do we remind ourselves that life doesn’t have to be all about public recognition and spotlights?

There is a beauty in cultivating an appreciation for what we already have.  My husband and I have learned this over the past years.  We have lost much but gained so much more.  No longer under the shadows of those who wish us harm.  Of course, this comes from gaining confidence in one's own self and guarding those that are loved and cherished.   It has been about creating a life that we love and not the expectations of others.  We travel, we visit, we fish, we work on our home, designing a pond, enjoying the babies around our farm.  Love in our journey and purpose in our living.  After all, the true journey is what we learn along the way!

Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker.com
TheRamblingsOfMyBeautifulMind.com

 

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The Adult Bully Challenge

Psychological abusers do not go for the weak; they choose strong people because they like the "challenge".  Victims of psychological abuse are often strong, confident, and successful.  This is because abusers are attracted to someone they think will break under their pressure and goading. 

When you think of someone in an abusive relationship, you think of someone weak.  This may well be the end result, but it did not start out that way.  Nor does the abuser plan on the victim to turn the tables and no longer be the abused.  More many months that turned into years, I was told "ignore"; she will go away.  She will lose interest and turn on someone else!  WRONG!  Her savage attacks have become threats of violence and death, not only to me, but members of my family.   Maybe it is my success and strength that keeps her motivated.   This now defines her as a narcissist and a psychopath as she attempts to define me. 

For an adult bully, it is all about feeling superior.  The want to drag out the negative attributes in another is the want of feeling the better of the person they are attacking. There is a huge sense of entitlement, so the sense of picking on someone who is strong, who they can try and deconstruct, gives them a feeling a power and false happiness.  It feeds on what they really believe about themselves; perfection, entitlement, and that there is nothing wrong with them.  This personality type are not programmed to think there is an issue with themselves because they think that it is not about them.  They definitely do not like their negative characteristics and actions revealed.  In this they become hostile and retaliatory.   They do not like the tactics of their negative behavior used against them.  This reveals to others that they are not the perfect entities as professed and their armor of perfection is shattered and the naked soul laid vulnerable to criticism.  This is where the abused will not take lightly the threats of physical and emotional harm and reach out to entities that are there to deal with such.

Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker.com
TheRamblingsOfMyBeautifulMind.com

 

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Loving to be Loved ..

Valentine's Day meant a great deal this year.  My husband has been critically ill for three years and there are days that he can barely move.   He feels guilty that I have to care for him financially, emotionally, and physically.  It takes great effort to move him into a vehicle, make sure that he attends his doctor appointments, and right now, his daily trip to wound care.  Some days are tough; I feel tears as I hurt from lifting and caring for him while working and taking care of our home and properties.  But this is what I signed on for when I took my vows at the altar. 

We haven't celebrated Valentine's day for three years due to his illness.  He was not able to physically purchase gifts for me.  This year he had our son take him to our small mall and he spent several hours picking out the right gifts  to surprise me.  This was exhausting for him but he had to do it.   Before I left for work on Valentine's Day and as I brought his breakfast to him, he laid out the gifts on the bed.  What a celebration we had and what a surprise for me!  He had tears in his eyes as he told me of his adventure, his pride evident in his beautiful eyes.  The celebration of another Valentine's Day that we made it through together.  Later in the morning, flowers arrived from him for me!  More surprises!  He was making an entire day of wonder and love. 

As I made my way home after picking up take-out Chinese to share with my husband and sons for Valentine's Day, I counted my blessings.  We live in a beautiful home, surrounded with beautiful memories, warm and comfortable, abundant food in the cupboards, animals that care for us as we care for them, reliable transportation that takes us where we need to go, and the mountains secure our valley.   Fluffy snowflakes were falling as I pulled in our lane.  It was going to be a wonderful evening filled with love, tenderness, and the company of a man loving to be loved as I do.

There is no greater love than to lay down my life for my husband's.  If we guide our lives and thoughts towards ending the suffering of others, our lives reflect and revolve around love for others.  For my husband, selfless love and devotion is to make sure that he has mental, physical, and spiritual peace, happiness, and comfort for the rest of his days here on Earth.  This is my mission.

Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker.com
TheRamblingsOfMyBeautifulMind.com

 

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Threats of a Cyber Bully

Because of the increased cruelty of cyber bullying , there comes a deeper impact on those involved.  The effects of cyber bullying are in many ways worse than traditionally bullying as it can creep its way into every part of the victim's life.  In some cases, people have taken their lives because they became the victims of vicious cyberbullies.

Our cyberbully decided she needs a mob to carry out her work involving motorcycle clubs and church members.  It was very explicit about what was going to happen to my family and me.  She publicly listed our home, surroundings, employments, looked up where my brother lives, and even listed the name of my new puppy. She has passed this information on to "over 590 members of a motorcycle club" who take care of "issues" such as she believes we are.  She has them watching our every move and we never know who is following our car or ready to pull a gun and be rid of us!  Of course, she is trying to incur dangerous stigmas and harmful shame of me with the threat of physical harm and physiological symptoms.  It won't work.  We understand her plight and her own emotional issues.

As precautions against the threats of he violence, I have emailed her words to all of the motorcycle chapters in the United States, to law enforcement agencies that I am not scared to engage with, sent the words along with others in letters to the FBI, and made family and friends aware of her threats.  I have letters prepared in case of my demise and who to look for.  I have emailed national news media sites sending along our history and her words.  Did you know that you can seal your property records when you present the counties with threat of harm?  Prepare your case thoroughly.  Let the cyber bully prepare your case against them.

In watching the Winter Olympics, I have learned that we are TEAM USA.  All people belong in a nation where personal accountability and responsibility needs to stay that; personal. As cyber bullying as grown, so have the calls for prevention and legislation to address it.  Groups of concerned citizens across the country want to help others understand cyber bullying and its often unwanted and unintended consequence.  We need to make cyber bullying accountable, especially in extreme cases that lead to harm.

Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker.com
TheRamblingsOfMyBeautifulMind.com

 

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Bully Syndrome; A Woman Bully Degrades A Child

Bully Syndrome is a chronic disease.  This is a disease which is a mental condition created by a broken mind, jealousy, and poor self-esteem.  This is a disease where one enjoys the misfortune of others, attempting to create the persona of being better, more accomplished, and well-adjusted in their lives.  It is a disease that distorts the truth and makes the bully tell one lie after another for their own benefit.  A disease which makes the lies into truths in their own minds.  A disease which also keeps the mad-up stories as "real truth" in their sick minds.

My adult woman bully makes sick jokes about my son, on public internet, who she believes is and calls "bastard".  In fact, the word "bastard" is in full caps (BASTARD) as she describes my son and me, as his mother.  She, herself, bore a child out of wedlock but refuses to call her child the same horrible word.  Of course and as usual, she has validation of such.  Her child cannot be as it was conceived in love.  But so was mine!  It was a mis-guided love at the time, but it was love.

My "bastard" son has grown into a man rich with family and love.  He protects his mother at all costs and refuses to answer to a woman who is nothing more than a gossip and toxic woman.  His many visits into our home with his wife and child make life wonderful and memorable.  His father denied the existence of my son until many years later when the State made him succumb to a blood test by court order.  He was charged back and current child support.  At the time, he was married with three children of his own and began reluctant visitation with a son elated to finally get a chance to know his father. His father, step-mother, and step brother and sisters were not kind to him yet he took their abuse with a smile and good attitude.  When I decided to relocate to the State of Virginia with my husband, my son wanted to stay with his father.  He was desperately wanting this relationship to work.  Because my handsome son would be staying with his father, I signed off over $16,000 in back child support so that his father's family would not suffer from this financial burden.  I never relinquished custody, my son was never legally taken from me; we had joint custody with primary residence given to my son's father at that time.  My son returned to me just a little over a year later, crushed at the attitude of his father towards him.  His father making up stories of bad behavior and contempt for the child.  We found out later it was the children of his own family that were making my son fight a losing battle to win his father's attention.  One story was of his father smoking marijuana and giving it to all of this children; illegal and under-age.  My son graduated from high school with honors, has gone to college, and has worked hard to become a supervisor in a healthcare company.  He has nothing to do with his father and calls my husband "dad".  The man who took him in and taught him how to be a good man, proficient in mechanics and encouraging good grades.  The man not his biological father.  He credits my husband and I for standing with him in his struggles of faith and family.  He has loved me unconditionally.  My son is full of love and service, he loves his child and involved in all of her activities.  He treats with wife with love and respect as I would want him and trained him to be.  He is God-fearing, prays and read scripture daily, and works faithfully in his church alongside others.  He is not at fault as to how he was conceived; he just needs to know how loved and appreciated he his as all children need in their lives.

I have never gone back and asked for the child support that is owed to me.  I still can and maybe I should.  This would cause truth to unfold!  Why cause further grief and pain when guilt will eat up this man one day.  After all, the man that could not be father has been married and divorced several times since this has all happened.  He cannot support himself or a family.    Maybe I should tell how this person was returned from a Mormon mission for attending a concert and having sex with women while professing love of faith and religion?!  But this is a world of second chances and down-and-out stories, isn't it?  The dirty secrets of those gossiping could no longer be kept secret.  Well, for most of us with exception of those inflicted with Bully Syndrome.

My adult woman bully did not offer these truths in her story of slander because it would not be of interest.    One cold, heartless, and cruel person obviously sickened with "bully syndrome" has to exaggerate and lie to have a following.   Of course, she has her "army" of persons that believe what they are telling her is truth when in fact some of it might be but most is being found out to be false.  Of course, she has not admitted on public internet how she lost custody of two of her children to mental illness.    Of course, she has validation for this as usual while others are wicked in the course of parenting their own children.

I am no longer ashamed of my past as I will share.  Because, our God is not only the God of second chances; He is the God of another chance.  This is good news for me because I seem to mess up but less frequently than before.  This is an amazing facet of God's character!  His incredible patience with us!  Psalm 86:15 says it well:  "But you, Lord, are a God Mericiful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness."  Micah 7:18 states, "Who is a God like you, pardoning iniquity and passing over transgression for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not retain his anger forever, because he delights in steadfast love."  Steadfast love!  This is the love that I have for my son.  Unconditional love that has overcome.

Copyright © 2018 by CandaLeeParker.com
TheRamblingsOfMyBeautifulMind.com

 

All rights reserved. This blog or any portion thereof may not be printed, copied, reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or similar cited with author's name and copyright.